We’ve all heard that we should surround ourselves with people who are on the same path, or people we can relate to; and for the most part that is true. But sometimes our greatest lessons and most powerful gifts come out when we have encounters with people who are not like us. Some of those encounters last a few seconds, some years and some a life time. Either we met them through someone else, we knew them as children, we happened upon them at a meeting, or they just latched on and we fell in love. As different as we might be from each other, there is value in that.
When I think about my own relationships, some are very similar and others quite different. But there is beauty in those differences. And often, there are lessons you’d never have imagined, in the simplest of conversations. I might hear a friend moaning about their circumstances, and it calls upon me to be keenly aware of the blessings of my own life or to dig deep and find something soothing to say. There are also the relationships that require you to demonstrate loads of patience, check your ego and find your deepest humility—not always an easy feat.
I had a friend for years, who decided to stop speaking to me—out of nowhere. At first, I was perplexed. But in the deep recesses of my mind, I suppose I was rather relieved. We were polar opposites on how we viewed the world. As a result, the friendship was heavy and draining. But, I value what I did get out of it and that was an opportunity to love her regardless of her negativity and acidic words. If I saw this friend today, I would sincerely reach out and show affection toward her. I believe she was instrumental in the development of my ability to appreciate differences, and for that, I am grateful. She wasn’t intended to remain for a lifetime but for a lesson time. She was my “perfecting” friendship.
I am pleased though that most of my friends have helped me through their ever-present love, devotion and counsel. They have been my super heroes. Love has known no boundaries and their presence even now enhance my life tremendously.
As for my love life- I am so grateful that my husband and I live within a marriage where love and expansion is our daily goal. We work very hard at getting to know each other. What could be jagged seams, when worked on, makes for a stronger, smoother and more intimate bond. Because we desire to only love and be loved in return, our vision of love is the same and we strive to demonstrate to others what that looks like. Our vision of love is being created and growing daily—and others take pleasure in witnessing it.
What is it that you love about your relationships? That’s probably an easy one to answer. But, what is it about the “imperfections” between you and your significant other, friends, parents, siblings, and/or off-springs that bring forth greater opportunities to grow in compassion, patience and stronger, more effective ways to communicate. We are human and certainly feelings play a deep role in our interactions. But it is those feelings that bring us to the other side, the high road. Love quite honestly, is all that is important. Because of love, we push through difficulties with grace and God’s mercy. Share in one another’s story, but are careful to not write them for one another. In painting the picture of my own perfect life, it is not without hardships and difficulties. It is however, with greater joy than sorrow and a keen eye for what’s good about it, rather than a bad taste of what’s not. And in acknowledging the deep perfection in the imperfection, I and you can love deeply and intentionally, making certain to work towards resolution.